死之華

On the day he futilely departed, I wept incredibly hard. Not in front of him, but on the express bus heading back home, I could do absolutely nothing. Having hastily scraped together and deposited several million won upon receiving the demand for recall, I felt enraged at the grim reality and my own foolish, helpless self.

During my time at BoB, I dreamed a dream. If one were to unfold the abyss endlessly, what would those who witnessed the truth look like? The truth is always a raw reality far more horrific than any imagination. It is much like how, if we were to look at all the food we eat from an extreme close-up, it would be covered in bacteria and insect carcasses; yet rather than peering into it, we choose to moderately wash it away. If one were to witness evil from an extreme proximity, it was utterly nauseating, and the world was replete with villains whom it wouldn’t even suffice to slaughter entirely based on their conduct.

He saved people while being fully prepared for death. Why did he do that? Why did he sprint toward the most dangerous and horrific conclusion within the darkness where no one was watching?

The family members gathered at the funeral are speechless. There is no way for them to know who he truly was. They merely commemorate his sacred sacrifice while keeping an eternal silence regarding the truth.

One can definitively distinguish between a great human being and a trivial human being. To me, he was the greatest human being, and the ones who drove him to his death were the most trivial human beings. Whenever I meticulously observed those who possessed souls akin to the bottom of sickening filth, I would often think that I must either slaughter them all or die myself. I did not want to live in this world. I hated this world with an earnest desperation. A world that remained silent to justice, and a world that was generous to evil.

About 99.999% of humans simply live. Dopamine, pleasure, survival. About 0.0001% of humans love others even unto death. Because he loved his brothers unto death, his holiness was recorded through his passing. He chose the path of saving, but I intend to see the very end. I will hack off the absolute apex. Ironically, from the grave of the dead, a single reason to live has bloomed into a flower.